The Indie Rock Guide To Corporate Living, Part I: Home

The Indie Rock Guide To Corporate Living
Part I: Home

I promise, you are truly unique, angst-ridden, and independent. Now that we've got that out of the way, we're ready to admit that you also like pretty things and having a fabulous home. Your home should not look as angst-ridden as your emotions. Unique and independent, sure. But angst-ridden is for pubescent bedrooms with black paint and dog-eared Depeche Mode posters. Or Death Cab posters, as may be the MO for today's 15 year olds. Chances are, rather than Depeche Mode posters, you have left-over collegiate futon couches, Monet posters, and a hefty make-out candle collection.

Now you're a smidge grown-up and have a similar-sized smidge of expendable income. But outside of commissioning custom furniture and decor, how can you create a beautiful living space without it looking exactly like everyone else's catalog-page clones?

Catalogs are Devilish, and We're Not Into That.
First of all, cancel all your subscriptions to catalogs. Just call the numbers on the last page. This serves many purposes - simplifying your life, reducing waste, etc. - but primarily, we all know that you can't have a stack of Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel catalogs sitting on your indie rock coffee table. And we also all know that the internet is by far the indie rockingest option anyway. Just make sure you call the companies after each online purchase to yet again remove you from the hardcopy catalog mailing list. They're sneaky like that.

As helpful as it may seem to thumb through the pretty pages looking for inspiration and ideas, don't fall prey to their evil schemes. Shopping online has less of a "buy everything pictured here to mimic this entire room" vibe to it, unless you accidentally wander over to the potterybarn.com "Rooms" section. STAY AWAY.

All in all, catalogs are to be avoided at all costs. Recycle what you have, or cut them up and make a collage cover for your latest mix CD.

Paint
I'm sick of people saying "paint is cheap and easy!" and "paint is the quickest way to transform a room." Clearly they've never tried to stick blue tape to textured walls. It takes too long to set up and clean up and worst of all, pick out colors. However, plain white walls are so modern-apartment-living. You do need some color in your house, so choose carefully and hopefully you might only have to do it once.

Paintish things to watch out for:

Overused colors. Everybody has sage green bedrooms and brick red dining rooms these days. Branch out.

Trying too hard to be different. Orange paint has several purposes on this planet, and most of them involve traffic and construction.

Dark colors, like red and dark brown. These colors, while lovely and edgy and not yet absolutely everywhere (except red dining rooms, see above), are going to be a pain in your ass. Be sure to prime thoroughly, but keep in mind you'll still end up giving your walls three coats to get the colors even.

Trim. Don't paint the same color on the trim as on the walls, but also avoid bright white. An off-white works best. Even still, white-ish trim is totally Pottery Barn. Try sanding them down and staining the wood, or installing new large ones yourself. If you live in a very old house, you might already be lucky enough to have funky trim.

Hue. It may look like a deep red in the can, but on your walls it's kind of raspberry-colored. Raspberry is so 80s-pop. Wait, I think 80s-pop is probably right over the horizon as The New Indie Rock, so you might want to just leave the paint alone.

Furniture and Decor Items That Not Everyone Else Has
You've successfully purged your scary yuppie catalog collection, but you're still going to need to buy lamps, book shelves, pillows, dining tables, etc. You're also going to need to hang things on your walls and have little decorative trinkets here and there (i.e., picture frames, candles, antique teapots). Here's your golden rule: It's okay to shop at trendy places, just don't buy obvious signature pieces that look like they're from said trendy places. This includes any and all artwork. Find that elsewhere, make your own, or mix and match frames and purchased prints. Do not, I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, buy any art piece from Ikea. Everybody will either already have the same thing, or know exactly where you bought it and how much you paid for it. Similarly, take very special care when buying vases, picture frames, bedding, candle holders, etc., that the pieces are different enough.

Display somewhat artsy photographs you've taken, of objects, places, happy friends, etc. Either be really good at photography or photoshop them to look lovely and muted. I recently took a "oops I left the flash on" black and white close up of a flower than ended up looking amazingly see-through. I cropped the picture, and got it enlarged and printed onto a 24 x 24 canvas and hung it in the dining room. If Photoshop isn't going to happen for you, find a creative friend, thumb through her art or photography, and sweetly ask for a hook-up.

And for goodness' sake, display your CD collection with pride.

The Kitchen And Other Difficult Things
The kitchen is a tough room to get looking off-beat, in the good, different drummer way. (Think: Meg White and Phil Selway.) Your kitchen can easily look like everyone else's, especially if you have recently married or are bethrothed and currently planning your kitchen via the Crate and Barrel registry barcode scanner. One night, Erik and I went over for dinner with some old college friends, and were slightly ashamed to see our dishes and the Newlywed Standard Tivoli Mixing Bowl Set gracing their kitchen countertops. It was our kitchen, just in different cabinets and a slightly different floor plan. Once I got over the nausea, I think that might have been the moment I (briefly) swore off Crate and Barrel.

Luckily, those standard, boring items that you absolutely need are now available in a variety of lovely styles, forms, and colors, i.e. the Majestic Yellow Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer, kitchen towels, mixing bowls, dish racks, and even cabinet hardware and cabinet doors. Mix it up as best you can, but try to keep things unified and un-cookie-cutter at the same time. Find pieces in random boutiques, antique stores, or estate sales. True indie rock culinary success is the kitchen that others want to imitate, not something you imitated yourself.

Oh, and make sure your alcohol cabinet is stocked with a variety of beers, old-man drink fixings, and gorgeous barware.

Attitude
Now that you've done your best to keep your decor stylish yet indie, polish the look with your very best indie rock sensibilities. Give it some attitude.

Basically, this means calling your delightfully lanky and poetic friends, dimming the lights a little, pouring some Chimay or a stiff manhattan, and hitting the indie chill-out music on your through-the-house stereo. Rock on.