vaginas, PDF files, etc.

tonight, i'm "playing" georgia o'keefe at a murder mystery dinner party.

i really have no idea what to wear. i don't really have any spare cattle skulls lying around the house, nor do i have anything that remotely resembles her signature boxy black hat. i think i'll just wear all black. and i'm going to take a sketch book and draw a little something. a little something that looks like a cross between flower petals and a vagina.

at lunch, i drove all the way to the doctor's office to pee in a cup. for them to tell me, like i already knew, that I'M NOT PREGNANT. even though i insisted to myself that i already knew this, it was very good news to hear. well, i have to admit that i was getting used to the idea of a little julia-let or erik-let. and shopping for cute maternity clothes. but i think the tiny millisecond-long pang of disappointment really stemmed from this being the very first time in my life a pregnancy scare was socially acceptable.

mother, if you're reading this, that last sentence in no way implies that your sweet, innocent daughter was anything less than sweet and innocent in college.

last night i was a student in mr. kerber/vincent schiavelli's trigonometry class in Better Off Dead. except we were learning about getting the most out of our PDF files from a lady named sharon. really, it was totally fascinating. unlike vincent schiavelli, sharon is a good looking 6 foot tall hip woman who is ridiculously funny and relentlessly, perfectly sarcastic. my coworker jackie and i were instantly in love. with PDF files, with her, with PNG file formats, you name it. we laughed, we cried, we optimized our press-ready graphics output...

if anyone knows why there's been a javascript error at the bottom of the page for the last month, i'll happily explain the difference between optimizing and downsampling with your PDF files. for FREE.

i'm eating yogurt with a knife. we really are in a recession. at least in my office. we don't even have a water cooler. or spoons, apparently.