locke the software guy

i really expected you to speak in some heavily russian or eastern european accent. you didn't.
instead of russian, you say things to your monitor like "where the hell is the Vision screen?!" and yell for help from melanie-the-software-girl over the cubicle wall with a indiscriminate "Mel??!!" not waiting for or needing an answer. i wouldn't take her for a "mel"... she's definitely a melanie. nor is she the type to be hollered at over the cubicle wall. but that's me. i'm no locke.
you wear sweater vests, but not in the right, well-dressed way. just in the "i love wearing sweater vests and i don't give a rat's ass how i look" way. or maybe it's the "trying to be well-dressed but it's not working" way.
your glasses are thicker than magnifying glasses with pale tortoise-shell frames. they're quite ugly, but that's okay.
you write things like "buy theraflu" on your white board, amidst complex code and equations.
you have a strange collection of mcdonalds coffee stirrers. you keep them in a paper cup with your pens and pencils and scissors. maybe everyonce in a while, you reach for a pencil and find yourself trying to write with the white plastic M.

you are the most helpful person a tech writer has ever worked with. we can deal with the Vision screen later. i don't care.