Did you know the average human has 20-odd feet of intestines?

Did you know the average human has 20-odd feet of intestines?
Instead of spending the evening at Extraordinary Desserts with my favorite coworkers and their lovers and mothers and the most amazing vegan fruit scone and some organic fruity green tea from a gorgeous little teapot, I spent the evening writhing in pain.  Fucking fuck fuck.  I even felt the onset of girly pain coming on early enough, so I stopped what I was doing (nothing, really), and scheduled my recovery process.  Seriously.  This is why I can never relieve pain: I watch the freaking pot boil.  I laid down on the bed and calculated how long it would take the for drugs to kick in.  I even gave myself a small buffer period to lie still and rub my tummy some more for good measure.  Sadly, I didn't start to feel better until somewhere around 10pm when the sweet husband brought up a hot water bottle.   10pm!  That's two hours behind schedule!  That is unacceptable!  Pain, you're totally fired!
 
I didn't mention my other teapot experience this week.  Monday, while Erik was out of town visiting his grandmother, I joined my sweet coworker and her beautiful, crazy, holistic friend for tea at a place called Bamboo Tea in Hillcrest.  I have to say that downing two pots of white tea on my own while discussing colonics is not something I have experienced before.  I am a changed woman.  The very Hillcrest-y waiter overheard some of our colon-friendly food nonesense and chimed in about being allergic to nuts.  He quickly remarked with a mischievous little grin, "well, not all nuts," and Jackie and I swooned for the witty gay man.
 
I was looking forward to another night of teapots and maybe even colonics, but no such look.  Pain set in.  Maybe this is just God's way of saying "keep the water blaster the hell away from your ass. "