Open Letters.

Open Letters.

Dear Cost Plus World Market,

"Minimum assembly" my ass.

Love,
Julia


Dear Scott and Sarah,

There are no words for how much I love you guys for bringing over not only your own turkey, but also your own cutting board, carving knife, and pot to warm up the gravy. I think all of our friends had pre-resigned themselves to a turkey-less thanksgiving and were delighted at the sight of the roast beast. I was also delighted to not have to clean it off my stuff. Also, thank you for raising Grace and having another baby on the way. You two make good babies.

Love,
Julia


Dear Starbucks,

It took a lot for me to come around to the dark side and buy tasty things from the imperialistic green mermaid. So why did you give me a cup of vanilla syrup today? I could barely taste the latte. I had to drink it down a little and top off my cup with Free Mystery Coffee from the engineering break room, therefore, you know it's bad. I think I deserve a free gingerbread soy latte next time I come in, okay?

With half the syrup.

Sweetly,
Julia


Dear Nacho The Groomsman, Who I Was Paired With For A Wedding On Saturday,

I love that you shaved off your 70s mustache for the wedding. That's true dedication. Also, I think you were the only other person in the bridal party who cussed as much as me. Actually, we were the only people in the bridal party who cussed at all, come to think of it. We were meant to be. Also, did you notice how we were always at the end?

During the bridal party dance, my heart pretty much overflowed with like-like when all you said was, "after this, I'm getting a white russian."

Love,
Julia


Dear Internet,

I know, I'm a terrible friend. I run away for a week and then come back and post like nothing happened and expect you to love me just as much. Please forgive me. After this post, I'm going to post again entirely in bullets and pictures.

Love,
Julia