Overdue.

Overdue.

I wish I could have posted earlier this week, but my mind wouldn't stop spinning enough to string a sentence together.

For the first time, I honestly can't post about what's really getting to me because I'd get in serious trouble. But things just aren't right when your boss has to close her blinds so everyone passing by won't see you crying. But it's too late, because enough people have already gone by. And you also can't really tell what decade you're in. Why would someone treat someone like this? I love and hate my job at the same time. I hate that it does this sort of thing to me, but I know that I would not be able to handle any of it were I surrounded by people any less genuine, authentic, and amazing as my favorite coworkers. So I guess I'll stick around?

And you're also on a no-boys-allowed message board and somebody specifically pages you, by name, only to tell you to Fuck Off in words and in gestures.

I'm telling you, I'm this close to swearing off women altogether. There are enough gems out there to keep me grounded, but dude. Wait. Let's take a moment to sufficiently honor those gems, those amazing women in my life right now, because I definitely just "but dude"ed their sentence. I don't know what I would do without you, my lovelies. Okay, the non-gems: maybe it's the internet, or maybe it's just a few bad eggs, but I can't fathom how mean people are capable of being.

I don't know what my world has come to. But I'll tell you something; I've been so raw all week, and have felt things I never knew I could feel. It has indeed been cathartic and catharsis we know is good. Bad things happen to good people for good reasons blah blah blah. But right now I'm sitting in my favorite fair-trade coffee shop with free wireless (I would pay them to have the following tagline, "Cafe Korova: the wireless is free but the trade is not.") and there's an all-woman girl-power art show going on, and the whole package is just what I needed. A panacea. Right here on Park Boulevard.

If life weren't difficult at times, we wouldn't notice when things were amazing. Moments of goodness and peace and empowerment would slide by like a million speeding raindrops chasing each other across the passenger window.

I know I end 50% of my posts like this, but dude, I'm so fucking sappy.