i know i am not in my natural state of being when i feel like i can't get to sleep to save my life, but then somehow fall asleep anyway without noticing. and then i feel like i can't wake up to save my life and my alarm clock just turns itself off like it's programmed so to do after an hour's worth of snoozing.
the slightest anything is a dream for an insomniac.
that bug bite tucked beneath the curve of my shoulder blade.
the glowing neon light of the skyscraper across the street piercing through the sheer white curtains, strategically placed at eye level as i lie on my back, slightly tilted to the left, my gaze and my head drawn to each bright letter.
the whizzing, sputtering, rasping noise of sprinklers. some start at midnight. another batch starts at 1. another at 2. and then a final one just after 3. i'm not sure why the last batch don't start on the hour. i may take this up with the homeowner's association. i need more organization in my life, so let's start with the 3:05am sprinklers, please.
the way my pajamas twist and bunch and let the wrinkles in the sheets pierce through the thin crisp twisted and bunched cotton and torturously dig into my skin.
the patternless red to green flickering of the smoke alarm above the door that you only notice when you avoid looking at it. red. green green green. red. green. red. green green. red. red. green green green. green red green. FUCK.
the way my soul and my body feel when i think about you, not wanting to fall asleep lest i not dream about you.
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