i'm only goin' over home
sometimes i wonder if i would fit better in another era or another heritage. what would my life be like being an irish catholic at the turn of the century? what would it be like being a folk singer in the seventies? what if i had been a bluegrass fiddler in the southern mountains in the nineteenth century? what if i had been raised amish or shaker or hindu or buddhist? what about being an avon lady housewife in the 50s? (kidding).

i think that wherever we're from will always seem boring and baseline. anything outside of my experience, of my heritage -- of what i know -- is exotic, exciting, and beautiful.

someday, someone will read about someone like me and say, "man, it would have been so cool to be a pacifist transplanted into america as a girl at the turn of the [twenty-first] century back when you had to define 'blog' everytime you talked about it." but little will they know that i had to force myself to value my culture and my life as exotic, and that i spent my time wishing i wore period costumes when they weren't considered period and thinking about the life i didn't have. i spent my time wishing i were someone else.

turn, turn, we almost become dizzy.

my life is pretty damn cool. and i need to start treating it that way.