Marathon.

Marathon.

I'm currently on my third week of training for a marathon. I've been a little hush about this because I'm more scared of letting people down than I am of AT-band injuries. I didn't want to build up people's expectations and then not have it work out. I didn't want to be a disappointment.

Tomorrow night will be my first meeting with the Leukemia/Lymphoma Team In Training local group, where I'll actually, officially, commit to this. Technically, I got a Team In Training discount on my recent running shoe purchace, to replace my ratty old trail shoes with far too much mileage on them, just because I was talking to a former-Team In Training participant in the store about what the group will be like, and the sales clerk overheard. So, yeah, I'd feel like I needed to go back and give the shoe store a few bucks if I dropped out.

But what I know will be driving me through mile 5 and 25 and finally past the finish line is the exact same thing that got me started and will keep me training over the next 5 or 6 months.

As I was going through my mail one night a few weeks back, I was talking to a very good friend about his father who passed away last year from leukemia. I just felt so much heartache and frustration in his story, and I think there was a little more than chance involved when a quick shuffle through my junk mail revealed the bright purple cardstock Team In Training brochure. I told my friend right then, without even thinking about it, that I was going to do it. (I somehow wasn't concerned about letting him down if I didn't make it, moreso with getting him to do it with me. We quickly decided that wasn't going to happen.)

I'm sure I'll be learning a lot about leukemia and lymphoma as my work with Team In Training progresses, but for now I know that future research could prevent people from literally dropping dead or suffering so much because of these mysterious diseases, and that makes me want to do something drastic, something important, something meaningful, something 26-odd miles long. I guess it is good that I worry about disappointing people, because "other people" is what this is all about. Sure, there'll be a lot of personal gain and accomplishment, but that's just not it. I'm not doing this for Julia.

But for now, I really need to dip my weary body into a piping hot bath.