Propaganda.

Propaganda.
The following is a list of propaganda I believe without any quantitative facts, research, or proof (that I know of) to back it up. Why? Because I'm a left-wing socialist pig.

You can indeed waste water. I know it's raining like ass these days, but I don't care.

A plant-based diet is better.

The way we live right now will ruin our children's children's lives.

Speaking of global warming, Al Gore is handsome.

Everyone is going to heaven.

And God does not "hate fags."

The moment you stop obsessing about a flaw, the more flawless you become.

Gasoline should cost far more than it does right now.

Organic produce should be cheaper to grow, and therefore should be cheaper for me to buy. Pesticides should cost more.

You can totally vote with your dollar. Boycotting makes a difference.

Dark chocolate is really good for you.

People who believe propaganda without quantitative facts, research, or proof to back it up proliferate the mindset that left-wing socialist pigs are followers who can't think for themselves.

And I'm okay with that, bitches.

The following is a list of never-before-seen propaganda I am hereby proliferating. Normally, I'd keep these theories/observations to myself, but someday you'll notice these things, too, and muse to yourselves, "oh, I remember reading this on the internet back in the day."

Eagle Scouts are better in bed. Former Eagle Scouts, that is.

Umbrellas are poorly designed.

Spandex is not fooling anyone.

Oprah is not real. She does not exist. Maybe she did once, but now she is a fake robot.

Same with Regis.

Not that I've been watching hollywood gossip shows or watching daytime television or anything.

Gym memberships are for pansies.

The future of everything, absolutely everything, is completely captive to the future of the internet. It has already changed our lives as we know them, and as people start growing up who have never known life without the internet, it's just going to be even stronger of an influence. Notice I didn't specify that it is a good or bad influence.

Okay, so that last one isn't a new theory or anything. I just wanted to get it out and it didn't really fit in my first category.

"Reporters" and barbara-walters-y people who ask questions like, "How did that make you feel?" are not worthy of my time. That's the stupidest question ever. Oprah does this, too. See also: bullet #4.

Lists are a genre.